a fond farewell..

Saturday morning I woke up late and was in a rush to go to the DEM lunch. We were a bit sleepy and tired from the night before, I groggily went about the house to get coffee and I found my phone beeping with a text message. It was my mom, she said, “If there are yellow ribbons, and pin souvenirs in Ayala, please buy some before you go home”. Even if I didn’t understand why, I just texted back, “ok”. I got my laptop and checked emails and there I found out that former Pres. Cory had passed around 3am that morning. I clicked on some of the news articles, and found one that detailed her life. I found myself crying for a bit. I understood what a great loss we had.

After lunch, we made our way home. Baby noticed that I was feeling a bit low and my eyes showed that I was crying.  I got home late in the afternoon to find my mom had been crying to. She was watching TV with my dad, where they broadcasted the funeral coverage live on TV.  All throughout dinner, we talked about that. My little nephew Vince even got a little upset with me when I declined to play with him, because we explained we were watching something important. I think he understood that it was because the mood inside the house was somber and serious.

My parents have always been strong supporters of Ninoy and Cory.  I remember back in 1983 when I was 5 years old, my dad said he had to leave for a week in Manila to join the rallies. I couldn’t understand it then, because all I saw in TV was tanks in the streets, people praying in the streets, and the song “Magkaisa” kept playing non-stop in ads with the slogan, “Sobra na, Tama na, Palitan na “. We had yellow ribbons in our house and posters saying, “Ninoy, hindi ka nag-iisa”. I remember telling my playmates who were my neighbors kids, that there was a “gera” in Manila. And that we had to be ready in case we needed to defend our houses. We would seek out potential hiding places in case the tanks did reach us. I didn’t understand then that there were millions of Filipinos then, going out to rally and fight for freedom. My dad recalled those times. He said he had been through it all, he had been to march behind Ninoy’s casket, and he had been to Malacanang when they had overtaken the place and the dictator left. He said it was a glorious moment. He wrote to Cory about that experience when sometime before the 90’s during the time she was still our president. And as a token, he got this autographed picture from Cory in Malacanang, standing in front of a photo of her when she was a debutante in Tarlac. On the photo were handwritten words, “Jose Roman, Jr., Mabuhay ka,” and she signed her name in the bottom. This is to this day still proudly displayed in our living room. This framed picture which I have overlooked for many years, is now much more important to them.  My dad talked about what it felt like to watch Cory get a standing ovation when she gave that speech in the U.S. Congress’s State of the Union and joint session. This has never been done before by a foreign head of state. When I watched it in you tube, it gave me the chills. I wasn’t even aware of that feat, all I know was that she was the most popular president at the time, and she was the symbol of peaceful revolution and a fresh new democracy and hope for the Philippines.

My mom on the other hand, also felt strongly about Kris, because as she said, they watched her grow up. From the tiny kid giving a speech at Ninoy’s party meetings, to what she is today. It also helps that my sister Michelle look strikingly similar to Kris, and both of them really liked Kris from the beginning. I remember that my brother was in Pisay then, and entering UP, so he had his share of stories during numerous coup de etat attempts in those years. We would hear stories of how they were afraid of the tanks, and the bullet casings they found in campus in the aftermath.

I’ve always understood what Cory stood for. I knew about that magic. She was our beacon of hope, that things could be better. We listened to what she wanted to say, we prayed with her. We believed her because she had integrity, she was both humble and dignified, and she truly loved her people. Baby said that was the highest form of leadership. I’m not sure if it was Maxwell’s concept but the first form is that people follow you because of your position. They follow you because you are in place. Second is that people follow you because of their relationship with you, as in you are a friend or someone they know. Third is that people follow you because of what you can do, meaning they believe in your capabilities and you are really good at your work. Fourth is that people follow you because of what you do for them. This is mostly what is achievable by most managers and leaders, when they are able to mentor, guide and inspire good work from followers and subordinates, because they in turn, also grow to become better people because of you. And the highest form of leadership is when people follow you because of who you are and what you represent. And to date, it is only Cory who is the best example.

I remember that I was at the Edsa Shrine in Edsa II then, when we were crying for the impeachment of a corrupt president. I remember walking at night the time they refused to open the envelop and I recall having shared that frustration with other people who just trooped to the streets and made their way to Edsa. It felt different; because that’s the first time in my life I realized that I had a common feeling with so many others and that shared sentiment united us all to voice out the need for change. So I wasn’t surprised when we went to walk in Ayala in Monday morning to pay our last respects. We could easily see the funeral convoy from our window in our building, but it was not enough. We felt we had to go done with everyone else, catch the confetti, shout her name out loud and flash our Laban signs, to show our respect and support. I gave my parents a call at that moment, so they could hear that I am there in the middle of all that.
So they can hear the crowd, and I describe to them what I felt like when I marched with the truck that carried her casket down Ayala Avenue. I did that so that I may give back to them the gratitude of teaching me to stand up for what I believe in and to continue their legacy of love of freedom and commitment to the ideals that Cory and Ninoy stood for. The feeling was alive in me again.

I went to work on Monday and Tuesday, and was surprised that people in the office were apathetic to what was going on. To them, Wednesday was just an unexpected holiday. I couldn’t blame them because most of them were too young to remember what happened in history. Most of them maybe didn’t grow up with parents as devoted as mine, who opened up their eyes to giving back to the community and being part of a nation by sympathy. I knew I was lucky to have understood it all. To have friends and family who felt the same way. So yesterday we watched it all from the last mass in the morning and hearing Kris’s speech that brought us to tears, and watched until they placed Tita Cory in her final resting place later that night. We were eating out at Grams diner at Rockwell, and even then in public, I had to cry for a bit. It was just sad to see good people lose a parent. That is just painful. But their mother was also a Mother to our nation and our moral compass. I am just sad to have lost that great woman, and I am just scared of what will happen in the near future when she is gone. I hope her flame will live with us long after she is gone, and that we make sure we continue to fight and work for a better country.

Paalam, Tita Cory and maraming salamat po.